The Fun Side of Gun Control

I’ve been thinking about all the conservative and liberal rhetoric and gun control philosophies I could talk about in my blog after the Supreme Court ruled on Thursday that Washington D.C.’s gun ban is unconstitutional. But then I thought there’s probably plenty of that on the web already. So I decided to write about some of the more humorous things I have seen or heard over my many years. Now, in fact, I don’t even own a gun, nor would I. Guns scare me. I’m too irresponsible to own a gun. BUT, I think every law-abiding person should be able to own a gun, especially if you live in Baltimore City. “Shoot back” should be every Baltimorean’s philosophy.

I support gun control. Use both hands when firing.

The 2nd Amendment of the United States Constitution reads:

“A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”

Sounds pretty straight forward, right? Well, liberal cities across America, e.g. Washington DC, Chicago, and San Francisco, banned guns in their cities. These laws were passed to help decrease crime. We all know how that’s going.

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Gun control only disarms the law-abiding citizenry. Criminals will continue to break the law and get guns.

There were many people outside of the Supreme Court yesterday holding their signs in support of the 2nd Amendment. Some read: “Legalize the Constitution” and “If guns kill people, pens misspell words”. If I was going to be at the rally my sign would have read, “Guns don’t kill people – ignorant drug addicted thugs who were raised in violent broken homes in liberal cities where they take away the rights of the people and who didn’t go to school or have any respect for human decency kill people.” However, I would have been carrying around a billboard with small lettering.

More people die from car accidents than guns. Should cars be illegal, too?

I remember when I first started working here at the accounting office of Three Phat Boyz’a Bail Bonds, there was a radical hard left wing liberal who was all about gun control. The more gun control the better. The best, of course, would have been an outright ban on guns just like in DC. That was the only way to rid her city of crime, she said. I loved getting her all fired up, so I’d say things like, “The only way to get rid of crime in the city is to kill all the criminals with my guns” and “sometimes for fun, I play billiards with my fully loaded AR-15 with the safety lock off instead of using a cue stick.”

Gun control is being able to hit your target and not spill your beer.

Then she’d say something stupid like, “Well, if guns were freely available, criminals would go buy guns and everybody would be shooting everyone.” “You mean like in Arlington, Virginia where guns are legal and you can carry? Oh, wait, they don’t do that in Arlington.”

I never saw an American flag set on fire at a gun show.

Only to be followed up with another stupid comment like, “Well, there’s no reason that machine guns should be legal in the city.” She’s right, because I see thugs walking the streets in Baltimore City with their AK-47’s slung over their shoulders ALL the time.

Criminals love gun control. It makes it easier to rob you.

Finally, the conversation that pretty much ended up in her not ever talking to me anymore, which was not a bad thing, went something like this: “I don’t understand why you don’t get it. Guns are a problem. They need to be illegal. They cause crime and killing and suffering. They are tearing families apart and we are all suffering the consequences.” I replied, “You know, I think crack and heroin also cause a lot of crime, suffering, killing, and are tearing our families apart. Why don’t we make those drugs illegal, too?” Then in a sarcastic, ‘you’re so stupid’ condescending voice she said, “Those drugs ARE illegal!!!” A couple seconds pass. Then as her own words sank past that invisible liberal deflector shield around her ears that prevent her from hearing logical arguments, she got really pissed at me and walked away. Ha!!! Even one of my liberal nut friends started laughing hysterically because he knew I got her.

Ted Kennedy’s car has killed more people than my gun.

Finally, on the CBS Evening News last night, they reported on the Supreme Court ruling, then had D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty on as a special guest. He gave her the usual rhetoric that this ruling doesn’t help him and his police force do their job to protect the people, blah-blah-blah. Then normally left-leaning Katie punched him with “I was surprised to hear from Wyatt Andrews that this ban has been in effect for 32 years. … If that’s the case, why has the District remained one of the most dangerous and crime-ridden cities in the country with this ban in effect?” Wow!!! BANG!!! Go Katie!!!!

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